Unnecessary
by Jacqueline Sheppard

I want to take up something unhealthy.
Something thick, vast, and all-consuming
with its consumptive powers leaving me thin.
It will kill me slowly and I won't back away.

I need it.
It needs me.

We'd eat each other and
dream together and
weep for each other and
die together.

My throat would gag
as it slid down
and I'd feel sick -
hating it,
hating myself,
hating the world.

The slick surface of want
would burn my hands,
ruin my face,
leave my body dry.

But I would need it.
And it would need me.

Somehow.
I think I'd be happy.